That's not bad, probably could have been a bit more simple or concise however it does wrap it all up in a pretty good sentence. It's a shame twitter doesn't have anything decent on it because of the character limit, but what was done there was pretty good.
Yes more words are needed for twitter, it's really hard to say what you mean in a very short sentence.
But using this, you can write more words.
http://www.twitlonger.com/