I need $2 in Bitcoin, not cash. I'm not fucming broke, I've got money but I can't be fucked exchanging it. It takes so long these days, and for $2 it's not worth the hassle.
There are many ways to buy bitcoins. Did you try looking at localbitcoins?
If you had started browsing faucets when I posted about it you would have $2 worth of bitcoins by now.