An amusing idea.

Sorry but the compiled language means reduction of participation.
I have chronic syntaxitis. I can't compile a program until an hour after I make a change.
I have a partial solution for you but it's gonna be done this weekend.
Well, all I was worried about was speed. If I don't need to wait to do simple tasks, like add files, commit, push, pull,etc., than you're off the hook.
Why not use git as basis?
A lot of reasons. There would be too much overhead. I wouldn't want git to be mocked if this was shone in a bad light (cuz I love git).
Also, I don't want phoney information, just complete anonymity. In addition, git is complex, and I want to keep it simple.
Also, next time say tl;dr, if you did not read the whole thing.