Has anyone figured out how to store xmr yet? I don't trust phone wallets or third party services because xmr will probably be $100 this time next year....

There is no hardware wallet in sight. Really for privacy your best choice is to run a node and use the official client from the command line with a strong password. Not as secure as a hardware wallet but what can you do. I do not care for paper wallets, you may differ.
If you just want to store, then make a paper wallet (with multiple copies). For extra security you can do stuff like