how can some transactions NEVER confirm? what becomes of the BTC in that case? is it lost in the ether?
What happens depends a lot on what wallet program you are using.
If the wallet you are using does not re-broadcast the transaction, then eventually the network forgets about it. Depending on the wallet program you are using, the funds might appear back in your wallet. If your wallet continues to re-broadcast the transaction (and if it can get through the spam filter rules of the peers you are connected to), then the transaction will remain in the memory pool of the nodes on the network continuing to wait for confirmation possibly forever (or at least for a VERY long time).