Please don't use words like "horribly" or "probably" trying to discuss technical issues.
Why? I understand not using probably (I thought this was in beginners and help so it was primarily as a warning to noobs) but what is wrong with "horribly insecure"?
Please refer me to the multiple research papers (and programs) you've mentioned.
Cracking programs:
Research:
I am able to discuss technical aspects (numbers, codes, algorithms) and science behind them.
I am not however willing to argue with your emotions or believes.
This is not just something that I believe or my emotions. Many other people in the Bitcoin technical area have discussed how brainwallets are insecure and not recommended for general use. Off the top of my head, I know that greg and theymos has discussed this before.
I use brain wallets myself, have been for years.
For me they are more secure, reliable and convenient than wallets which require to be stored and backed up.
It is possible to securely use brainwallets, but it should not be something that is recommended to newbies and those who do not understand technical aspects of Bitcoin IMO.