What the he'll how did you loose such a big amount. Why would you even keep on playing after loosing. Dude greed is nice but not so nice that you end up loosing entire money. Until you are insured for few millions, no point in dying. Help people who need help, there's so much to do,dying is not a solution and let's say you do attempt the jump and what if you are handicapped for life ever thought of that. I would highly recommend you, to move on and find a new purpose and not gamble ever again and teach people also not to gamble.