I have dual citizenship: country slicker and city bumpkin.

That's one of the reasons for my higher than average security measures. People know I'm often away for days or weeks at a time.

I'll assume your misspelling of "about" was a typo. It makes you sound like an American hillbilly though.

They seem to think that if you don't pronounce "about" as "a-bay-owt" that you're talking about footwear.