When you use the God religion to attempt to repress your women and mind control them into not defecting from the optimum life strategy, that is not conceptually different from an enslavement perspective than any other cultural strategy that accomplishes the same goal.

The pot calling the kettle black. Hypocrite.

What is the difference between a shidduch and a date?

Well for one, tachlis, the end goal, makes the difference. In a date the end goal is a good time with some one nice, whereas in a shidduch, the end goal is a quality marital partner. With these two diverse goals we can begin to understand the high marital success rate for a shidduch and the low rate for a date.

In a date, generally a place of entertainment is chosen and an event is enjoyed together. Interspersed between the entertainment is some conversation, perhaps about the source of entertainment, perhaps about other more personal topics. In a shidduch, a neutral place (which is not a place of entertainment) is selected, and the conversation is the main focus. Each side asks questions about the other, and shares their feelings and opinions openly so that the other side can understand their character, their desires and their direction.

A date often is a romantic interlude that comes to its conclusion with some hugging and kissing, perhaps more, perhaps less. A shidduch is a hands-free event, for the schmuching (hugging and kissing) would cloud the purpose of the event, the proper evaluation of the other. Emotional involvement is only granted after the other person has been properly seen as worthy of a life time mate.

A date starts with a chance meeting, followed up by a proposal to go out together. A shidduch starts with a proposal by a third party (the shadchan male or shadchanit female) and develops after a careful investigation of the character and integrity by both parties of the other sides. Both sides refer back to the shadchan with their findings. If they are both interested, then a meeting is made. If, however, one of the parties feels that this is not for them, then the relationship does not even begin and no hard feelings are made.

Even if the couple sees each other several times and then one side decides that the other is not for them, then it is the job of the shadchan to tell the other side. The shadchan generally says that the other side feels that this person is a very nice person but not the one for them. No hard feelings or depression is caused since each side knows that the purpose of the meetings were to assess the possibility of a marriage. With dating, hard feelings can be generated if there has been some emotional involvement and then one side wants to terminate the relationship. This generally leaves the other side feeling rejected and depressed.

Perhaps one of the most important points which contribute to the success of the "brokered" marriage is the fact that the couple keeps their hands off the other. This is not always easy, but the dividends, are overwhelming. Sex before marriage, including hugging and kissing, can cause emotional attachments before the partner has been certified as worthy and appropriate by the mind.

Sex comes together with the marriage. In the confines of marriage it is a positive thing, but before marriage it can destroy a person. The freedom of the western society has brought much material wealth, but in terms of personal pleasure, has brought much sadness and loneliness.

When material goods make a person happy, then his happiness is dependent on his ability to generate more and more material goods. When his happiness is based on building a happy loving family, then the materialistic society becomes an obstacle and a hindrance.

In all, thinking youth are realizing that the road to a proper marriage and happy life is not like a commodity purchased in a store. Entanglements cause emotional scarring and unhappiness. A person that is happy with his/her mate, is a person that has much going for them. To make a wise choice, learn from the wise, not from the mistakes of others.