You think you were rational (this is a common pattern of delusion and all addictions), but first of all agnostic was the same SJW (diversity devouring, power vacuum creating) religion you are following now. You've just adapted your desire for power vacuums to a God religion to make yourself feel more noble and honorable, but you actually ignore all the falsifiable facts. How rational is that?
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There is no logic involved in your decision other than finding a way to continue the SJW indoctrination that you were mind controlled and enslaved with in your formative years of SJW education. You haven't responded to any of the falsifiable facts.
I have responded to all of the interesting points you have raised. Your writings lately have been atypically incoherent and rambling presumably due to your illness so I have tried to keep my replies brief and to the point.
You seem to be spending a lot of effort trying to psychoanalyze my motivations. Perhaps you would be better served focusing on the logic of my arguments? My reasoning can be found in the links below.
I acknowledge that I could be mistaken but my position is undeniably rational. Your inability to acknowledge that tells me that you either do not understand my argument or are unwilling or unable objectivity consider it.
The Foundations of Contentionism:Cycles of ContentionThe Rise of KnowledgeEntropy is InformationThe Math of Optimal FitnessThe Limits of ScienceReligion and ProgressThe Nature of FreedomThe Beginning of WisdomMorality and SinKnowledge, Entropy and FreedomTwo of your older writings are included in the links above. These works are among those that helped me to reach the conclusion I have. I truly hope you make a speedy rapid and full recovery.