... But it's true, it makes me feel better the next day, I wake up earlier compared to other days that I don't drink... I feel a bit happier because..
Some says in the research that alcohol if taken in moderation, it could kill dead brain cells, and if over used could damage your brain and liver...
That emotional rollercoaster you are describing is training your brain to be emotionally unstable.
The dead brain cells are not the most significant threat. It is the threat to emotional stability which is the significant risk.
Ditto weed and all drugs (toxins with neurological effects on the dopamine, serotonin, etc receptors).
P.S. besides as a male you need to be working on your masculinity not on satiating and becoming a slave to your emotions (hey look in your pants, you aren't female). This is the battle for maturity that you face, and unfortunately Millennials are being bombarded with feminism. What role models would you have which would express to you what I am.