While we wait for a police report number, here is a fun French story.  All true.

Deep in the wilds of Alaska, the (filthy socialist) state has build  beautiful cabins on various of the lakes which dot the terrain.  Many of them are hundreds of kilometers from the closed human being.  They supply these cabins with firewood, a rowboat to go catch fish, and various other accouterments.  One thing that is lacking is any form of communication as such a thing would be technically unfeasible in the 70's and but for satellite phone, still is to today.  The amazing thing is that the cost to rent such a place is trivial.  In the range of $10/day.  The catch is that an interested party needs to get their ass out there, and that requires paying an air taxi service who flys floats.  We continue...

One summer as a pre-pubescent whelp I was hanging out with my dad on Kodiak Island where he had a small air taxi service.  I entered the office on one fine day to find two French couples who were probably in their 50's noisily communicating among themselves in their mother tongue.  Eventually my father interjected something in French.  The conversation came to a dead-stop.  Eight wide eyes staring at him and four mouths agape displaying a distinctly alarmed expression.

Later I asked him what he said (being myself ignorant of the language and being unaware that my dad was even fluent in it.)  All he had said "closer to $400."  The reaction was a function of the four French-persons having been in a decisions about whether the proprietor was trying to rip them off, and it would have been fairly rude had said proprietor been a Francophone.  None of the four had considered the possibly.

So, the four decided to commission the transportation, but had neglected to acquire batteries for their camera.  I knew that if I ran, I could get the batteries that they needed before a certain store closed and offered to do so.  I accomplished the mission and proudly returned with the prize, but to my shock I didn't even receive a thank you (in any language) much less a tip.

My father delivered the guests to their destination, and some days later when he was to pick them up he says  "Well, I guess I better go pull those frogs out of the lake."  Then he looked up in the sky and judged that "it looks like it'll be pretty socked-in up there.  Maybe better wait until tomorrow."  Then he went about his business flying cash out to cash buyers, flying injured/fired fishermen off of their fishing vessels, and so on.

For each of the next few days the routine went on pretty much as the day prior.  There were mirthful discussions about how long a group of people could survive by deriving nourishment from one another's bodily secretions.  There were theories about whether especially powerful body odor indicated particularly high caloric quality bodily secretions.  And that sort of thing.  All good fun.

Eventually my dear dad jumped in the plane and went to retrieve our fearless comrades.  He said that when he buzzed the cabin the 'frogs' piled out the door of the place and actually ran into the lake waving their hands wildly.  He said it was the funniest thing he'd ever seen.

---

My father learned to speak French conversationally when he'd been stationed in France while serving in the Air Force.  He apparently had a lot of 'luck' over there.  Seems that French men tend to be a bit on the effeminate side, and French women tend to appreciate a more 'rough and ready' approach to male/female relationships sometimes.  Enough to where there were actual physical confrontations among them for mating rights.  Also they appreciate it when a man does not pay undue attention to the anus at the expense of other more distinctly female body parts.  Who knew?

It is thought with a high degree of probability that I have one Francophone half-sister.  Probably another half sibling of unknown gender, and very possibly some others besides.  I occasionally wonder if they turned out like their American siblings.  That is, strongly progressive and highly capable persons who have, net/net, given much to benefit the less fortunate of society while not carping about it all day long.