That is empathy, which is a phenomenon like "liking chocolate milk, and feeling pain when you hit my toe with a hammer".  Empathy is just a positive (or negative!) correlation coefficient between your own happiness and suffering, and the image you have of a specific other being being happy or suffering.  If the coefficient is positive, it is called love and friendship ; if the coefficient is negative, it is called hate and jealousy.  Point is, empathy usually only matters for a FEW others (family, friends, and a few hated enemies).  

In as much as pleasing friends is done to augment your own happiness, that's still nothing else but selfish behaviour !  You use the other one to increase your own good.  In as much as torturing an enemy (even if you have to sacrifice things for that) provides you with pleasure, this is the same: you use the enemy to provide you with pleasure, and is of exactly the same selfish nature than making sacrifice and pleasing a lover or a friend to get the "empathy reward".