Think i got it licked
upnp-port mapping is on by default --- Turn it OFF
that limits connections to 8
bitcoin-Qt is using all my upload bw WHY?
Make sure you turn off UPnP on your firewalls and routers!! Many consumer routers allow UPnP configuration on the WAN interface, sometimes with it even disabled. This is a serious vulnerability.
You can test for the UPnP vulnerability with the "Shields Up" at grc.com
https://www.grc.com/x/ne.dll?bh0bkyd2Sam