pools can display a preference at any time. but unless they see that the orphan risk is low. they wont actually create a new block formation of new rules unless the risk of orphan is low.

EG a pool can happily write "i want 2mb" ... but they wont actually make a 2mb block unless they were assured a good node consensus would accept the blocks

pools can collate data in any fashion they like.. but if nodes see it doesnt follow node rules that block is likely not to get accepted by the network..
because just making a block that doesnt follow consensus rules means nodes reject itin seconds then wait a few seconds for another pools that has a solution that does fit the rules and accepts that one instead.

thats what the consensus/orphan security feature is all about.. thats what makes bitcoin better than just a mysql database..

pools who see that nodes are not at a consensus level to ensure the risks of orphans is only a few percent max. are not gonna change the rules so easily.

people can make as much social drama on forums as they like but unless there is good node consensus smart pools wont push forward. even if they are waving flags of adoration..

in short
NODES DO MATTER