You may/may not be my new hero. Seriously, thank you so much for linking my thread in the other subforum! If there was a way to give you rep/karma/a virtual cookie, rest assured I'd be all over that.

Edit: So I got cgminer to work without a problem (well, aside from the fact that downloading it was a pain due to a crappy ISP). Personally, I think it would be better for me to use guiminer since I really don't know much of what I'm looking at in cgminer, but this certainly reduces the urgency of my search for a guiminer fix.