Yes, there are fees involved when you're buying gold and the gold fixing makes it seem unfair nowadays, but you're not describing problems related to the monetary use of gold here. What you're describing is a problem about how governments restrict other types of money: In most countries you have to pay employees in fiat money... (only a few companies are paying in Bitcoin or partly in Bitcoin so far)
As I described, not all governments are doing this. The problem is with gold itself. I could buy gold any day and my government would not bother me at all or take a nickle.
You are correct that acquiring gold for savings and selling it again later would be easier if gold was the standard of exchange as even your neighbor would have some - HOWEVER as I outline later in my post
it does not make sense for gold to be the standard because it is a hassle to use gold every day.
This is why it costs 3%, I assure you that cost would still be 0-25%-1% or so in the middle ages when metal money was prevalent and there was no government suppression - except you would pay it every time you paid for something - also instead of the acquisition cost being higher your security costs would be higher instead (I wonder what a swordsman would cost or bribing the local chief?).
Transportation costs may also have been vastly higher given you would have no car.
Even if gold was reintroduced we would still need government "Coinage" and banks (for digital payments) to allow easy everyday use. The banks are fiat all over again and the government coins would probably be diluted, as history has shown, which brings you back to just fiat OR miserably carving gold at the cashier.
The simple truth, Occam's razor, is that
gold is bad money hence it is not used as money anymore.
If gold is so great, but just held back only by governments then why isn't the national currency of the Cayman islands or Las Vegas?
Until like 2 weeks ago I was kinda a goldbug, but now.. just accept it; "gold sucks" and stop being wrong.