Buy on rumor, sell on news. I just bought a little bit of gold with some satoshi. Not much, but I was bored looking at the silver bullion coins that I bought a few weeks ago. Now with my bullion holdings, I'll be able to buy a month worth of cigarettes if financial collapse happens.

You should also get some 90% junk silver coins if you don't already have some. In a worst case SHTF scenario, would be great for barter.
I think he'd be better off with the cigarettes tbh
If worse comes to worse, I can barter for a bucket, a shovel and a
Smith and Wesson. Then stake my claim at the creek nearby. I might be able to eke out an existence.