On a more serious note: There are several other mechanisms that fix malleability. There is still a discussion to be had as to whether or not SegWit is the best approach.
SegWit will solve malleability. This will allow side chains. You can develop and use a side chain to offer whatever you think is the best solution to whatever problem. Moreover, a side chain can be so good that it may become the main chain. The beauty is that all this can be done slowly, voluntarily, without HFs, and without any risks to bitcoin users.
SegWit is not the final soltution. Segwit is just a tool that gives us the ability to develop new amazing tools!