Don't get me wrong guys, I do appreciate your input and help - its just I'm the only one in my room groping these particular boards with this particular airflow.

Finally got round to setting up a stratum proxy (that was easy) to slush. Tried mining_proxy.exe -o stratum.btcguild.com -p 3333 to btcguild but it spams errors. I can't make sense of them but either way it doesn't send info to btcguild.