I can relate to it being confusing.  But take the time to read and try to understand the information that is available and its not that hard.

If you are still confused, ask specifically which parts you don't understand and there are plenty of knowledgeable people whom will be more than happy to answer your questions.

If you can't mine, and don't have a service to provide then obviously you aren't going to be very successful at acquiring bitcoins.

If it was easy we would all have bitcoins and chances are they would be worth next to nothing.