An attempt was made at using HAProxy as a sticky load balancer / failover redirect this evening, but it was quickly overloaded. The volume of connections that the pool makes, in addition to the geographic spread of the servers was causing the latency to freeze up HAProxy.
More work being done tomorrow, and hopefully the US Central server will be up as well.
In other news, BTC Guild now has a mascot that showed up at my door this afternoon:
http://i.imgur.com/0MOIB.jpg