Last I checked Bitcoin Police were a bunch of Australian dudes smoking BBQ and swilling beer, looking at a proxy-registered domain in WHOIS every few months and maybe portscanning a tornode if the weather was fine, predictably ending in "Nope, can't find 'im, mate! Cheers!" and some more drunkenness.
Epic answer... I Broke two ribs, and my left leg, laughing so hard i fell straight off my chair, through the floor and smashed into the basement-concrete floor at such force the friction almost created a China-syndrome started to melt down to earth-core, but managed to grab hold of a water-pipe nearby... I'm fine now. But be careful next time ok, lives are at stake here!