You have gained much awareness of yourself and of your thought patterns which previously helped you to explain the benefits of gambling to yourself: to celebrate and to escape. It sounds like you have in the past often found it hard to cope with urges to gamble and focusing on potential benefits of gambling has made it easier for yourself to give in and to gamble again. You have now discovered that these explanations don't work for you any longer and you focus on the impact which gambling has on your life: it creates problems for you. This is a really good step forward, while you keep in mind how gambling affects your life, it can also help you to learn how to best cope with urges you may be feeling. Continuing to write it down here on the Forum can be a powerful strategy in itself.