In spite of that I have learned many things through the experience. I have been able to help others that have gone through similar things. I have a faith that is strengthened because I know that God will help me through anything I have to go through. I had a pastor once say, "This life is the closest to hell we will ever be." That is comforting a strange way. I know that could start a whole different debate on hell. But as a Christian, with my world view, it makes sense to me that we are going to suffer on this earth but it is a short lived time when thinking of Eternity.
Our experience does define us, and even if it's bad, it makes us who we are. If you like who you've become, you probably wouldn't have your life happen in any other way, since if that bad experience could somehow be wiped from the past, you wouldn't be you anymore. At least that's how I feel. I truly believe that what doesn't kill us, only makes us stronger. However, I find what your pastor said to be incredibly sad and misguided. Life isn't hell, life is whatever we make of it. If you can't make the best of your present situation, can't strive to better yourself, and can't be happy with what you have, then you'll never be happy in heaven either. After all, if you can't find happiness with what you have here, how would a few extra things make you any happier there? Living in heaven you'll just eventually get bored with what you have, even if it's more stuff, and will continue to feel like you are in hell. And if you do find happiness in what you have or in what you do here, then why wait for heaven? To me, personally, the strive for knowledge, experiencing new places, foods, music, entertainment, people, and things is what brings me joy, and overcoming hardships and building on top of them is what brings me pride in myself and my life. If what they say about heaven is true - that in heaven we will know everything, will never need for anything, will never feel strife, and will live for ever (which is an amount of time we can't even really comprehend) - then that would truly be hell for me.