Quite frankly, we know nearly nothing about gays. Why do you exist? What is the evolutionary benefit? How do you interact with women compared to normal men? Little to no research is being done in this area, because it is not politically correct.
Your experience is not normal, because you are not the norm.
Not sure how to do research on this without it being hopelessly tainted by ideology.
Exactly the problem, yes. One often used option is to study animals first.
Here's my take:
In a symbol-manipulating and culture-producing species, homosexuals fulfill the function of outliers not bound by responsibilities of family and to a certain degree free from regular societal norms and expectations. As such they are in a position to dedicate themselves to niche endeavors which may have no immediate useful function for society, but contribute to the experimentation and innovation which keep human culture evolving and adapting. They are often able to take bigger risks and pursue less profitable career-paths compared to heterosexual people with a family. Having children/spouses be dependent on your income makes you more conservative in taking risks and experimenting with your perceived role in society. Thus you can find many homosexuals in fields which demand extreme immersion and individuality of thinking in order to produce results: art and science.
Anyway it's probably best to ask some gay people what they think about all this.
That's not an unreasonable hypothesis, but humans evolved in tribes where no one man is indispensable. That's why women have the hypergamous instinct, in the event that one man dies (or they simply tire of him) they can move in with another. The christian missionaries in the new world did not like this part of native culture at all but it is how things work in tribal life. And it doesn't explain why homosexuality exists in animals.