A newbie walks into a bank and says, "I want to open to an account."

And the teller says, "Sure, no problem."

So they set up his account, and when it's all done, the newbie asks, "What's my balance?"

"Well, zero, of course. You have to deposit some money before you can have a balance."

"What!? You mean I have to put in my own money? You don't just give me free money for signing up?"

"Uh, no. We used to give away free toasters, but we stopped doing that a while ago."

"This is an outrage! I'm a newbie! I deserve free money for no reason! What do you have against newbies?"

"Nothing, we just..."

"I don't want to hear it! You'll be hearing from my lawyers!"

And the newbie storms out, never to be seen again. There's a lesson in here somewhere.