- The NSA has full control of Bitcoin through holes in SHA-256 and DSA that the mass of the public has yet to find. The whole blockchain might find itself worthless within the decade.
You forgot a few points:
- The Space Jews control the president of the United States with brain wave rayguns, installed in geostationary satellites launched and maintained by South-American drug cartels.
- Fluids! Always protect and preserve your precious bodily fluids!