Those icos that are going to give you your funds back if they dont reach enough money are those who are using an escrow in order to have all the investor's funds in there, if they dont have one, then it means that if the ico fails, you are not going to see a buck again.
But just think about it, escrows for icos are very risky, if it is a good amount of money, they can feel tempted to stole all that money and run away with that, and this is a very freaky scenario.
I dont know, most of them dont give the money back.
That's so not true. You can use an escrow, but why would you if you can have a smart contract fulfill the same role? And I do not know a case of a smart contract getting greedy and running of with ICO funds... Also, to stay ontopic: Those escrow mechanisms in smart contracts are very common and almost every ICO has it in a kind of soft-cap implementation. If an ICO does not have this I would consider twice to invest in it as it is an additional layer of user protection.