And just end it all?
I feel like I am going to get all different kind of responses but I want to put this out there and see how many people have seriously considered it. Life isn't easy for the majority of people, always hiding problems or not confronting them and letting them just dig deeper until you don't/can't handle it anymore.
How to people have ambition to move through all the bullshit in this world anymore? You seem to fix one problem and before you're done you have 2 more and what you were working on just falls to shit anyways. Maybe that's why we have so many drug addicts, just trying to escape reality because they can't bring themselves to the end.
What happens with the people that are suicidal failures that know they have nothing to live for and have seriously tried to end it only to fail at that? Where in today's culture do you put them? Right along with the undesirables and mental cases. There is no hope anymore, no determination, no pleasure of being in existence, so why be here?
I don't even know who you can try to get help from anymore. Doctors are drug dealers, I went to my doctors office and within 5min of talking to him the session was over and I walked out with some pills that I look up online and they basically make you kill yourself. Paxil. what good is this going to do me? I'm already thinking about it and now they are giving me meds to follow through with it. Can't go to family, they all have their own problems and I don't want to burden them with mine. So I guess I go online to an off topic forum to tell the internet and see if they will even listen, doubtful.
I don't know where I am getting with this, kinda like everything else in life. I need something constructive to put my energy towards and feel like I am apart of something. I need to wake up each morning and know I have a meaning and I am needed. Even if it's not something great or world changing, just something that is meaningful to me, something I have passion for.
But who will get involved with someone that has these issues, and we start all over. Maybe I'm crazy or something but if I don't get meaning in my life soon I will be 1 less undesirable around.
I feel like I am going to get all different kind of responses but I want to put this out there and see how many people have seriously considered it. Life isn't easy for the majority of people, always hiding problems or not confronting them and letting them just dig deeper until you don't/can't handle it anymore.
How to people have ambition to move through all the bullshit in this world anymore? You seem to fix one problem and before you're done you have 2 more and what you were working on just falls to shit anyways. Maybe that's why we have so many drug addicts, just trying to escape reality because they can't bring themselves to the end.
What happens with the people that are suicidal failures that know they have nothing to live for and have seriously tried to end it only to fail at that? Where in today's culture do you put them? Right along with the undesirables and mental cases. There is no hope anymore, no determination, no pleasure of being in existence, so why be here?
I don't even know who you can try to get help from anymore. Doctors are drug dealers, I went to my doctors office and within 5min of talking to him the session was over and I walked out with some pills that I look up online and they basically make you kill yourself. Paxil. what good is this going to do me? I'm already thinking about it and now they are giving me meds to follow through with it. Can't go to family, they all have their own problems and I don't want to burden them with mine. So I guess I go online to an off topic forum to tell the internet and see if they will even listen, doubtful.
I don't know where I am getting with this, kinda like everything else in life. I need something constructive to put my energy towards and feel like I am apart of something. I need to wake up each morning and know I have a meaning and I am needed. Even if it's not something great or world changing, just something that is meaningful to me, something I have passion for.
But who will get involved with someone that has these issues, and we start all over. Maybe I'm crazy or something but if I don't get meaning in my life soon I will be 1 less undesirable around.
Time for Dr. Kruniac to give some assistance, in his own no-BS way.
Wanting to off yourself isn't something to be ashamed of. Suicide has been commonly accepted throughout history as a valid means of solving a problem, rather than as an escape mechanism.
That having been said, please think carefully before considering this type of permanent solution to temporary problems. In it's most basic form, suicide robs you of any of life's pleasures. There must be SOMETHING you take joy in. Maybe you get off watching baseball. Perhaps women are your thing. Maybe it's food, the outdoors, a sunrise, hurting people, reading - there is SOMETHING that makes you go "...Yay.".
Suicide deprives you of those things. You will never see a sunrise. You will never eat. You will never knock someone out again. All positive things earthly will be denied to you, as you will have gone inert. You might be depressed, you might feel worthless, you might have nothing going on - none of these things are permanent. I've seen (and met) truly worthless human beings who enjoy their lives fully. If they can do it, so can you.
I have personal experience with chemical imbalances. It's not fun. However, with proper discipline and education about your particular disorder, you can regain control of yourself and your destiny. I do NOT recommend medicating the problem, as that leads to more problems.
Paxil especially. I was on that shit for five months. Then Celexa (citalopram, if memory serves). All that happened was that I became an extremely drowsy zombie. I could barely function (I was learning ASP.net at the time, which made it even more difficult to take), I napped a lot, and I was generally miserable. When I stopped taking the meds, I went through withdrawal. I was extremely ansty and I did not sleep for 39 hours. I laid and shivered like a crackhead, sweating and wishing I could die.
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But who will get involved with someone that has these issues
Why do you need someone to get involved? Reach out and take what you want from life. Force yourself upon the world, while it screams and begs. If you must suffer, make it suffer. ^__^
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Maybe I'm crazy or something but if I don't get meaning in my life soon I will be 1 less undesirable around.
But you aren't undesirable. You're just another person. There's nothing horrible or off about you. Sure, you're pretty damn crazy. You're off your rocker. You're out of your gourd. And?
You could have a Borderline Personality Disorder. You could be Bi-Polar, and go into manic fits where you become violent and completely irrational. It could always be worse.
I'm going to leave you with something to think about. You aren't miserable. This world is. I know it sounds cliche, but you have it FINE and dandy.
I dated a girl who was raped repeatedly by her mother's boyfriend from the ages of 9-14. She had problems.
I dated another girl whose mother was a meth addict, and would hook her up with random guys as a way of being her "friend" instead of her mother. She had problems.
There are prisoners in third world shit holes who have maimed limbs, and are beaten to death if they fail to move to a certain area at a certain time.
There are children who are sold as sex slaves to be ravished again and again by random people.
Starvation. Genocide. Rap music.
The world is a terrible place. You're okay.
I hope you take control of your life. Best of luck.
