Illegal instruction (core dumped)

I tried Armory 0.96.3 Ubuntu/Debian 64-bit with GCC 5.4 but it would not start at all:

Code:

/home/caleb
Illegal instruction (core dumped)

Armory 0.96.3 Ubuntu/Debian 64-bit with GCC 4.7 starts but crashes when restoring from paper backup.

I then built from source, v0.96.3, same thing, crashes when restoring from unencrypted paper backup.

I read some threads in this forum and it was mentioned that my CPU might not support SSE4, but it is a Celeron J3455 which supports SSE4.

Then, I tried the testing branch, same results.

Code:

/home/caleb
(ERROR) ArmoryUtils.py:3716 - Unsupported language specified. Defaulting to English (en)
/usr/lib/armory/armoryengine/Transaction.py:2882: SyntaxWarning: import * only allowed at module level
def PyCreateAndSignTx_old(srcTxOuts, dstAddrsVals):
(WARNING) SDM.py:439 - Spawning bitcoind with command: /usr/bin/bitcoind -datadir=/home/caleb/.bitcoin
(WARNING) SDM.py:396 - Spawning DB with command: ArmoryDB --db-type="DB_FULL" --cookie --satoshi-datadir="/home/caleb/.bitcoin/blocks" --datadir="/home/caleb/.armory/" --dbdir="/home/caleb/.armory/databases"
Illegal instruction (core dumped)

The wallet I was trying to restore was created a while ago using Armory 0.93.3 (really old, before btcarmory).

For good measure, I tried to create a new wallet on the testing branch installation. Crashes.

Code:

Ideas?