Are you living now through donations? If there's no way to get back that amount, don't forget that you still have family to love and friends to be with. I wonder on who are the people that are close to you that symphatize you on this short coming?

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This is not the end of the world and you don't have to say that tomorrow is your last day on Earth, get your life serious there are things that you had do to do not only this.