I feel you mate and very hard from that life gives us shit sometimes so it is our job to get over that we need to move on and get on life i have encountered so many circumstances in life though i give myself a chance to live for another day and look at my family with smiles after that. Money cant change everything. I know it is not that easy to overcome that stress all over your concience but look at up above and god give me hope and give me a reason to well then look at your family ad smile your family's enough to put and worth effort giving and living good luck mate.