Monero balances page:
Payouts disabled, you will not receive any coins to your offline wallet for the time being
You guys are killing me, what's going on? I need my coins ASAP!!!
Killing you... really? The fact that the message is there means he's in the middle of fixing it.
You got stuck coins? No, then sit the fuck down.
I'm looking for an ETA here...
OMG ROFL
All our coins are stuck as well.
The 'ETA' is 'ASAP' which meets your demands of 'ASAP':
We are investingating issues in the backend. Your shares and hashrate are safe and we will fix things ASAP.
Payouts disabled, you will not receive any coins to your offline wallet for the time being