coinsquirrel: I have built up relationships with a good number of people outside this forum, yes in real life, that still trust me just as much after having read this, and have vocally said so.
I'm really disappointed that you see me so lowly, because that's not who I am. Josh did force that apology, and I've been scared shitless for the past two days that either he was going to cancel my orders or I was going to lose my respect here, so that is why I tried to delay this inevitable outcome. Again, I apologize for what I've done and I know it was wrong. Good people make mistakes, I believe I am proof of that.
Just for some perspective, Bernie Madoff made these quotes to New York Magazine in 2011:
I made a lot of money for my clients
Im not the kind of person Im being portrayed as.
Does anybody want to hear that I had a successful business and did all these wonderful things for the industry? And got all these awards? And so did my family? I did all of this during the legitimate years. No. You dont read any of that.
[The fraud] was a nightmare for me. It was only a nightmare for me. Its horrible. When I say nightmare, imagine carrying this secret. Look, imagine going home every night not being able to tell your wife, living with this ax over your head, not telling your sons, my brother, seeing them every day in the business and not being able to confide in them.
I was always able to rationalize [the fraud]
Look, I tried to give moneys back to my individual clients when I realized it was impossible to get myself out. I tried to return funds to my friends, moneys to the smaller clients. They wouldnt take it back
"