Nope not compassion. I was twisted when I wrote this thinking someone would actually care. I have accepted my situation and if I need to leave this world I will.
The problem with that is that even when other people care, they stop after awhile. If you don't find enough reasons to care for yourself, you probably will end up in a place where you think you need to end it. I get there all the time these days. I just came home from Integris ICU and am washing some clothes and grabbing something to eat before I head back. My wife has pneumonia again for the second time this year. Dementia is a bitch. It robs you of your mind and then starts in on your body. Sometimes I fantasize about when she dies and I can just swallow all her narcotics with a nice bottle of single malt and end this nightmare. I don't think I will. I want to see my grandchild finish growing up. She's turning into a remarkable young lady and I can't wait to see her take on the world after college. The girl is fierce! (grin)
Life is subjective. Even rich people kill themselves. Find your own reasons to stay alive. A few BTC from strangers isn't gonna be enough of a reason.