I know right

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But seriously, do people actually pay you guys to give them unnewbied accounts

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they don't pay me but the BTCtalk guy yeah, i think he makes good money off of it. plus if you get in a bind you can sell him your account and he'll resell it to a newb.
if you check out
http://newbiejail.org they claim to have a script that will unlock your account. don't know of anyone who's tried it. that's the thing about this place its really hard to tell whose real and whose fake. i vouch for btctalk though. he gave me a .5 loan once. really nice guy