I think I read somewhere that if he has any connections, he is connecting to the IRC channel just fine... I think you're correct on the 8 connection limit without having port 8333 forwarded.
My thinking was that the static IP -addnode would help by providing a dedicated download source. If that still doesn't work well then I'd guess that laszlo has hit the nail on the head, and the constant full-rewrite of the file is to blame.
Oh, right. Missed that he had 40 connections.

But 0 blocks downloaded?
My macmini is currently downloading blocks. It is up to 38xxx after about 4 hours. That is with two dedicated sources on the same lan plus another 6 it discovered out on the 'net. (It is a 2009 model with 4gb of ram using only a 150GB partition of a 500GB, 7200rpm, 2.5" drive, running the 0.30 .zip'd version as a -server.)
The old macmini drive is in an atom D510 system and is a very slow hard disk. It took a long time (18+hours) to download the blocks even with a dedicated source. But even then it did not stay at 0 blocks for more than a minute or so.
I wonder how much downloading to a ramdisk would speed it up...