when i tried to send 100k it says the amount is too large
"transaction too large"
any idea how to fix this? running the latest windows wallet
You shouldn't let him send anonymously, you can choose to cancel the anonymity and then send it off smoothly.
i already tried ticking and unticking the "anonymously thingy" when unlocking the wallet but still im getting the "transaction too large"

too large means too large, anonymous has nothing to do with that.
use smaller amounts, especially if you mined a lot.
use coin control to check how many small blocks or dust you have in your wallet