My investment records are sealed for ION cost basis (2017)... come back and ask me the question next year when IRS approves legislation and guideline on how to treat crypto coins. I also got "free" IONs from underneath the table when cleaning the Ionomy LTD Whale's lounge after the Secret meetings.
I hide those away in the Shark Cave for a rainy day usage...
Quitting time.. I think I will take your recommendation and have a strong mixed drink to kill the pain of the lies

Yeah right... This was back in 2015-2016. You should have paid your taxes on those already and the guidelines are quite clear. Somehow the IRS is not preventing you from bragging about your "free" IONs though.
Stop lying if you don't like the pain.