m/0'/0 will only give you the receiving addresses of the wallet
I tried again with
https://iancoleman.io/bip39/ and in derivation path I put m/0'/1 AND IT GAVE ME THE ADDRESS I WAS LOOKING FOR!!!!

m/0'/1 gave me the change addresses and m/0'/0 is the receiving addresses. Nobody really mentions it online.
Thanks for your time guys I couldn't be happier now, it was months and months of thinking I'd never be able to get my bch
I was composing about asking you to check for change addresses
because in
https://blockchain.info/tx/26be8e198b1a9133dc705bcdafd4724fb1097d6b49a7f6569af7d73104f449c0the 1xdQN89zE... was the second output which means change address if tx generated by wallet
and iancoleman.io only derives one path at a time, default is main addresses (must explicitly set derivation path for change)