Lol, not the most diplomatic of responses, but I'll give ccminer alexis a try next anyway.

EDIT - Trying it now, and if it is the version available from here - https://github.com/sp-hash/ccminer/releases - then it sucks donkey balls; I'm getting about 365-385 kH/s, so about 1/3rd even the KlausT variant of ccminer.