Also I totally agree with OP with all points, but I also agree that making it clear(er) that we are essentially in very early dev phase of bitcoin would be good. There seem to be the pull on the one hand with sites like "we use coins" to make it seem like bitcoin is Here! Now! Ready! and Easy to Use! to encourage widespread adoption, and then on the other hand we have people saying, wait! we are still working on some pretty basic scalability and security issues - use at your own risk.
+1
The project is still in its early stages. Development is very active, and thus it's a good thing to suggest features. I agree elitism has no point there, or being defensive, ideas should simply be acknowledged (which is what I try to do).
On the other hand, as a developer I can understand the other side of the "coin" as well. People become annoyed if the 1000th person creates an account on this forums and thinks he has a completely original idea by proposing wallet encryption, even though the developers are working hard on implementing it. Or makes yet another topic why bitcoin won't succeed. Or thinks its a CIA plot. And so on. If people haven't done their own research, a simple google query would do, then they can expect the replies to be a bit snarky.
Note that this is an open source project. No one is paid any money to provide help here.
BTW about victim blaming I agree 100%. It's annoying and tends to be very common especially in communities dealing with finance.