So I met a man in the hospital, told me he was the real satoshi. Told me not to share his name so I won't. This wasn't the mental hospital, this was the regular hospital. Man did drugs, and had some fancy cars he got robbed from. Told me his life goal was to be arrested in all 50 states, and he was so rich he could pay bail on all of them. All I can say is, he was from South America.
I am fairly sure this was the real Satoshi, he was one of the strangest people I have ever met.
Not sure how he delivered his words to you in order for you to believe him. Well I'm not judging you but I don't think satoshi will just reveal himself like that easily. Given the current price of BTC and all the risks involved whenever he discloses his identity to a random stranger. However, props to you for starting this catchy header.