I do have thoughts but I always felt like this everyday. Every time I ask someone for help nobody cares. I don't know what to do, I can only rely on drugs. It sucks, but it helps. That's why I need this loan. Its important to me.
You have the attitude of a rapist.
You've been told NO a dozen times. Yet you keep coming back begging and trying to justify it. Obviously viewpoints that don't meet yours mean nothing to you.