Go get a job or paint a picture, write a poem, learn an instrument... you are depressed because you just sit around and smoke pot and be depressed. Do something with your life or you are going to miserable until you kill yourself 
i know i am not gonna get the loan, i just wish i could of got the loan. I wish i had collateral to provide but i don't know which.
Forget it, and just believe in yourself that you can get out of your troubles, not through drugs but through self determination. Best of luck! Go out and enjoy the sunshine.