But to earn the sums you're requesting I would have to work several months of 60 hour weeks, of which 1 in 3 are night shifts.
Now that your main problem has been solved: don't forget to look into Forkcoins, if you haven't done so yet, you may find another "small" fortune in Bitcoin Cash, Bitcoin Gold, and many other forks that are more difficult to extract. Don't forget airdrops like Clams and BitCore.
Believe me, I'm more paranoid than that fact might imply!
It wouldn't mind to turn your paranoia up a notch before importing such a high value private key into any forkcoin wallet. Don't trust any of them, keep your privkey offline and sign offline.
As for the beggars on Bitcointalk: just click "Report to moderator", or "Report To Admin" in PMs.