Meeting up with people can always be interesting. I've met up with a few people locally to buy stuff, but I always have a 9mm on my side just in case things don't quite go well

I get ya though on that part. Meeting random strangers with expensive merchandise/cash isn't always safe.
Is that an actual rule here? I wasn't aware.
Escrow is only 1% fee.
Your offer is extra fishy: retail price from Bitmain for new and in-hand + not accepting local pick-up
Not sure what's fishy. I trust myself, but a trustworthy escrow service is fine. I just need to know I can trust them.
Likewise, you hear horror stories about meeting up for transactions. I've used Craigslist in the past and mostly stay away because I've had some real characters show up to meet me...