"apart from the bits where you're completely in control of your own funds at all times"
Like taking 3 days to settle an account that is in dispute your talking about.
Assuming you aren't foolish enough to spend from anything but the most recent commitment transaction, there won't be any disputes. Once the software is more user-friendly, chances are it won't even give you the option to mess it up.
"there are no holidays or weekends where Lightning is closed"
Banking hubs are a single point of failure, network down = bank holiday
Your logic is the only single point of failure here. There isn't one single hub that controls everything. There will be many channels. Lightning will never "go down", just like Bitcoin itself never will. You'll simply take another route through different channels and probably won't even notice.
"there's no one to seek permission from before you can transact"
Bank/hub is down = no transaction, it not working
Again, not an actual issue if you understand how it works.
"there's no interest, there's no overdraft"
No overdraft (YET) but call it what you like but bank charges money for keeping BTC in the ledger and most people call this "Interest"
There are no "banks" charging "interest" for "keeping BTC in the ledger". Most people would struggle to fit that much wrongness into a single sentence. If you genuinely want to gain an understanding of how fees and revocation in LN work (but I'm starting to suspect there's nothing genuine about your posts at all), there are plenty of resources available. I strongly recommend
stackexchange.
What part of my
earlier post did you fail to comprehend? Either Kleiman and Wright had a joint business venture together, or Wright defrauded someone into giving away a controlling interest of the company after Kleiman died. Whichever it turns out to be, it's completely irrelevant to the conversation at hand. If you think Lightning works like a joint business venture or defrauding someone out of a controlling share in a company, I'm afraid there's not much we can do for you here.
Well most of this won't stand up to debate so lets start
Start what, exactly? Making shit up? That's not how you debate. You need to educate yourself about the subject you want to debate first. Then you might be able to make some valid points.