I know the feeling. There years ago I was in your place.i was acting the way other expected me too. Than I snapped and realized that I have many so called friends. That didn't even remember I was there with them a day. On that day ago I decided I would be the person I was and was prepared too lose all friends, but it never came to that. I became happyer and was more rememberable. I started to go to the gym and that affected my confidence positively.